Today is a momentous day. It is a day that I have to write about so I will always remember it, and so my posterity (Miss Eloise, the kitty) will always know that this day was a special day.
Today, Wednesday November 6, 2013
is my voice's birthday.
Since I was a little girl I've wanted to be a singer. When I was little I would tell people that I wanted to be on Broadway. I've known that it was my passion from a very young age.
I would pray and pray night after night that I would get a vibrato. I wanted to be the best singer! I wanted to stand on stage and make people cry because they could feel the passion I have through my voice. But I just couldn't make what I was feeling come out of my mouth. I could feel it so deeply! But I was scared. And young. and doubtful. I just knew that if people could see what was inside of me, they would be blown away. If I could make the sounds with my voice to convey what I was feeling, people would see a young woman with a passion deeper than anything they've ever felt. But it was stuck and locked away deep within myself. And I couldn't let it out. I didn't know how.
I had taken about a year of voice lessons in high school, but quickly gave up when I didn't immediately achieve my goals. 4 years after I graduated from high school, I realized that I couldn't suffocate this fire of passion inside me, and I knew that if I kept trying I would be burned from the inside out. So I contacted the most talented woman I know, and we set up a way for me to take voice lessons from her. She is incredible! She got my voice to do things it had never done, and my confidence grew so much. I learned the mechanics of the voice and what certain things were supposed to feel like. I was blessed to take lessons from her for quite a while. When unforeseen, and horrible, circumstances no longer allowed to her to teach, I was devastated. I was just starting to feel comfortable, and I knew her so well.
But I started to take from a professor at Weber. This person has an incredible reputation, and he is insanely talented. The voice teacher I first mentioned is good friends with him, and he's the reason she suggested that I come to Weber. I was so excited that I was going to study with him. He has students that are on Broadway! But the intimidation factor was huge. I was terrified, and I got in my own way...I just couldn't get out of my head. I have been able to take lessons from him for 4 semesters, and whoa. He just understands me. I have grown leaps and bounds - I even finally found my vibrato earlier last year! I have steadily improved and I've been so thrilled with my progress. But I still felt like something was just locked deep down in me, and it needed to come out.
Well today it happened. I finally unlocked my voice in my lesson, and it felt so good! Tears were shed, and happy dances were danced. I can't even explain what happened, I'm not even sure myself. But with the coaxing and knowledge from my teacher, out it came. And it felt like sparkles and rainbows and sunshine fairies. My voice teacher was gushing (his word, not mine), and it made me feel so, so amazing. This doesn't mean that I have the greatest, most amazing voice. And it certainly doesn't mean that I've mastered my voice, but something amazing happened, and I feel like now there's no going back. It will only be uphill from here, and I'll never go back to before. I am so excited to work my butt off to get to the places I want to be! I'll go ahead and say it: I'm very proud of myself.
My professor declared that from here on out, November 6 will be known as my voice's birthday. He said that I needed to go home and write it down so I'll always remember, and then make Richard take me out to get a milkshake. So here I am, writing it all down so that I'll remember that today has been a truly special and, as Dr. Phil would say, a "changing day in your [my] life".